Weasel Of Doom

Before 8 am this morning:

• Squeektar climbed onto the picture window where the hoya plant lives, abused the said plant, and smashed a glass candle holder to pieces
• DemonChild, under pretext of washing hands, ate a bunch of soap and got the whole counter in the bathroom downstairs covered in water

In response:

• They got yelled at (aka Mommy went nuclear)
• They got a long time-out in their bedroom while I spent an hour cleaning up the mess
• New hard-ass rules are now in effect

It is 9 am on a Saturday, and I am ready to go back to work. Lovely start to the weekend, don’t you think?

DemonChild had a few firsts lately:

- first shower

- first peeing standing up

- first “accident” at night (he was distressed over it, poor thing)

Last weekend, when I put on my sun dress, he said, “Mommy princess!” I don’t think he has seen me in a skirt before. Today I wore my maternity skirt to work (gotta love limited clothing choices), and he called me princess again. Guess the standards on who qualifies as a princess have been drastically lowered lately.

He loves watching “Tom & Jerry.” We have a 4 DVD collection that my parents brought from Russia. DemonChild would request “Cat & Mouse,” “Cat & Dog,” “Cat on Fire,” “Mouse Pulling Whiskers” (last two from the episode selection screen). While watching, he would gleefully scream “Fred Windy!” Took me a while to figure out that “Fred Windy” is Fred Quimby, the producer (for some reason, in the Russian voiceover, they always say who the producer is. For every single cartoon, we get to hear that Hanna and Barbera were directors, Fred Quimby the producer, and whoever the composer happened to be). Mystery solved.

DemonChild is talking more. We are still not at the point of having conversations, but he is making full sentences on occasion, like “I am SuperDemonChild!”, “Papa drives a minivan!”, “Go away, Squeektar, I am trying to sleep!”, and “I don’t LIKE [whatever it is he is currently not liking; recent objects of derision include his bed, his pillow, and the bath]!”

For Father’s Day, BelovedSpouse took DemonChild to see “Kung Fu Panda.” It was little guy’s first theatre-going experience. According to BelovedSpouse, good time was had by all, and DemonChild only fell asleep for a little bit at the end.

Last Friday morning, I was wondering why it was taking BelovedSpouse forever to get ready, and walked upstairs to discover DemonChild buck-naked and eyeing the shower with anticipation. On Saturday, Squeektar also decided to try that new shower thing, but he wanted Mommy to join in, too. Our tiny shower stall is not big enough, so I had to make an executive decision — “Everybody with a penis, into the shower. Mommy is going to enjoy some peace and quiet.” Squeekinator did not like the shower, so he was out in a minute. DemonChild, on the other hand, now prefers taking a shower to taking a bath.

Squeektar has developed a fondness for the word NO. Both boys also say “Allright” instead of “Yes” – very cute. Squeekinator likes: cars, buses, building with megablocks, reading books, splashing in the water, sitting on Mommy’s head, snuggling. He dislikes: tags on his shirts, waiting more than 5 seconds for whatever it is he wants, being ignored, not being allowed to do things.

Number3 is right on target and head down. He/she enjoys sitting on my bladder, finding painful places to shove at, and going into stealth mode whenever anybody else is trying to feel it move. Our 32 weeks appt is on Thursday. I can’t believe how fast time is going! Need to find out if there is an antidepressant I can take while breastfeeding.

Work is work. Hopefully we will find out who our new fearless leader will be soon, seeing as the current fearless leader is leaving at the end of the month for greener and less stressful pastures which will hopefully suit his personality better. My immediate boss is still an annoying pain. He lost all the power and influence he had a few months ago, and that is not sitting well with him. He does not realize it’s all totally self-inflicted, either. Not a bad guy, just really inept as a manager. In some ways, it would have been easier if he was a total jerk as a person, too.

I am doing OK. Tired a lot (and anemic, too, as we discovered at my last OBGYN appt; need to stop forgetting taking my iron pills; at least I managed to pass the gestational diabetes test somehow.). For a few days, hormones were overcoming the antidepressant, and that was NOT fun. Doing better now. Same old, same old, basically.

My apologies for such a boring post. I miss having a brain, but I strongly suspect my brain does not miss having me.

BelovedSpouse, a few days ago: “You know, you are getting big. You’ve really ballooned in the last few weeks.”

Me, well aware of the fact: “GRRRRRRR”

BelovedSpouse, furiously backpedalling: “I like it! I think it’s very sexy!”

And a day later: “Well, you ARE getting big! And you have a good reason for it.”

When I shared this story with HisMelness, he gave my stomach a thoughtful look and said, “This must be a big baby.”

The fact that those two are still alive is a testament to my iron self-control.