We ended up splitting kid care this weekend. On Saturday, Bill took care of the kids in the morning, and then I took them to gymnastics while he went to work. At gymnastics, I have managed to acquire extra kids, since we bring bionicles and legos with us, and other mothers gladly let their kids play with mine while they (mothers) relax. I don’t mind (because it keeps my kids entertained, too), but I do find it funny. Our gymnastics have wi-fi, so I could catch up on emails and socializing (yay Facebook for iPod app). Then my friend Rachel got there with her boys, and we got to hang out a bit. After gymnastics, I called my parents on Skype, and they watched the kids being goofy. Mel came over around 4:30, enabling me to do a quick run to the library and a surgical strike to Pick’n'Save for apples and ice cream. I went to the mega-Pick’n'Save, and it’s huge! Took me a while to find my two items ;) Bill got home with the pizza, I made apple crisp, Bill gave the kids a bath, and that was that. We watched an episode of Vampire Diaries, and I was in bed by midnight. Oh, and I managed to do dishes and laundry, too, and take down Halloween window clings upstairs.

Today Bill watched the kids while I had the day to myself. I slept in (as much as one can while being interrupted by screaming children, but still), had lunch and did more dishes, then put Xavier to bed and went to work. My mother-in-law, who was supposed to come over around noon, did not show up until 2:30, and apparently left without putting the kids to bed (which was the plan). I am not surprised, but I am annoyed at how unreliable she is.

I started feeling sick an hour or so after I got to work, so instead of being productive I cleaned up my office. *sigh* Time to go home and go to bed (or possibly throw up). The fun, it never ends.

[refusing to eat dinner] “I am allergic to meat” Really, kid? Chicken nuggets are meat… Well, quite likely meat… Well, definitely a meat product… Nice use of the word allergic, though. Didn’t know you had it in you ;-)

[as I am leaving for dinner and shopping with Shannon] “Mama, are you going to sleep with Shannon?” Ummm. Wasn’t planning on it. Pretty sure Shannon’s not that into me :-)

[playing on the swing as my parents watch on Skype, after asking them to count] “I don’t hear any counting!” It was the tone of voice on that one. The aggrieved “I am busting my butt entertaining you, and you can’t even count???” tone. Little brat.

[watching the Visa commercials during the Olympics] “It’s Shaun White!” The only athlete he identifies by name, because we forced him to watch the half-pipe competition. At first, EVERY snowboarder was Shaun White, including the ladies. In Sergey’s defense, the outfits were rather concealing, and Shaun White DOES have nice curly long hair.

[watching qubo] “It’s Obama! And Cash-for-Gold!” The cartoons on qubo all have the “be nice” message, but the ads they run are just sleazy.

I remembered so much more before I started this post, but now I am drawing a complete blank… Le sigh…

This one is from a few months back, when Squeek discovered the difference between the sexes: “[Squeektar] has a penis. [DemonChild] has a penis. Papa has a penis. Mommy has a penis?” After being assured that Mommy does not have a penis (but knows where to get one when she needs it), he goes right down the line with “Grandma has a penis?” We got to have this discussion every day for at least a month.

Demonchild to BelovedSpouse, yesterday: “Papa, go away and talk to Mommy!” (Now where is that attitude when we want them to leave us alone? Nowhere to be found, that’s where.)

DemonChild, after farting: “[DemonChild] puknul!” (“puknul” means “farted” in Russian, and is about the only Russian word he remembers). This is followed by five minutes of giggling. Oh, the joys of life with boys.

Squeektar, during “Meet Your Teacher Night” at daycare. As I sit down next to him, he grabs my boobs, looks at me adoringly, and announces to the whole room, “Nipples! Nipples! Nipples!”

DemonChild, getting into the car on Friday: “I have blue eyes!”
Me: “Yes, you do! What color is Squeektar’s eyes?”
DemonChild (after double-checking): “Blue!”
Me: “What color are Mommy’s eyes?”
DemonChild: “Blue!” Long thoughtful pause. “I don’t LIKE blue eyes! I want BROWN eyes!”

For Father’s Day, BelovedSpouse took DemonChild to see “Kung Fu Panda.” It was little guy’s first theatre-going experience. According to BelovedSpouse, good time was had by all, and DemonChild only fell asleep for a little bit at the end.

Last Friday morning, I was wondering why it was taking BelovedSpouse forever to get ready, and walked upstairs to discover DemonChild buck-naked and eyeing the shower with anticipation. On Saturday, Squeektar also decided to try that new shower thing, but he wanted Mommy to join in, too. Our tiny shower stall is not big enough, so I had to make an executive decision — “Everybody with a penis, into the shower. Mommy is going to enjoy some peace and quiet.” Squeekinator did not like the shower, so he was out in a minute. DemonChild, on the other hand, now prefers taking a shower to taking a bath.

Squeektar has developed a fondness for the word NO. Both boys also say “Allright” instead of “Yes” – very cute. Squeekinator likes: cars, buses, building with megablocks, reading books, splashing in the water, sitting on Mommy’s head, snuggling. He dislikes: tags on his shirts, waiting more than 5 seconds for whatever it is he wants, being ignored, not being allowed to do things.

Number3 is right on target and head down. He/she enjoys sitting on my bladder, finding painful places to shove at, and going into stealth mode whenever anybody else is trying to feel it move. Our 32 weeks appt is on Thursday. I can’t believe how fast time is going! Need to find out if there is an antidepressant I can take while breastfeeding.

Work is work. Hopefully we will find out who our new fearless leader will be soon, seeing as the current fearless leader is leaving at the end of the month for greener and less stressful pastures which will hopefully suit his personality better. My immediate boss is still an annoying pain. He lost all the power and influence he had a few months ago, and that is not sitting well with him. He does not realize it’s all totally self-inflicted, either. Not a bad guy, just really inept as a manager. In some ways, it would have been easier if he was a total jerk as a person, too.

I am doing OK. Tired a lot (and anemic, too, as we discovered at my last OBGYN appt; need to stop forgetting taking my iron pills; at least I managed to pass the gestational diabetes test somehow.). For a few days, hormones were overcoming the antidepressant, and that was NOT fun. Doing better now. Same old, same old, basically.

My apologies for such a boring post. I miss having a brain, but I strongly suspect my brain does not miss having me.

Just because YOU went to bed at 9 pm, does not mean that everybody else did, too. In particular, Mommy did not fall asleep until after 1 am. When, by the way, you decided that the only way you can keep sleeping is by being on Mommy’s pillow. And around 4 am we were joined by your brother, who at least brings his own blanket and has cut down on kicking Mommy out of the way when she is having the audacity to sleep where he wants to be on her own bed….

My point is, at least wait until the alarm goes off at 6:15 before waking up and farting in my face, OK? Some of us count on that little block of time from 5:45 am to 6:15 am to get us through the day. Also, hitting the wall with your head because then the window rattles is a nice demonstration of cause and effect, but probably not very good for you.

Your Pavlovian reflex to the sound of my cereal hitting the bowl is cute, though. I can’t help but smile when you run into the kitchen going “ceweal, ceweal” and climb into the big chair in anticipation of me sitting down so that you can climb over to my lap. We should work on eating faster, though, because after 20 minutes Mommy’s portion of the cereal turns into a soggy mess, and I am not so far into my dotage yet that I can only eat mush. Just saying ;-)

60 seconds go by. I am coming down the stairs with the laundry. On the edge of the living room carpet, there is a grinning Squeeker, holding the potty. In the background, DemonChild is frantically pulling up his pants.

[Squeeker:] WHEEEEEE!

Squeeker triumphantly wields the potty. Pee splatters all over the tile. As I am frantically trying to mop it up, the happy duo toodles off to the bathroom, and closes the door behind them.

Two minutes later. Disturbing sounds of happiness from the bathroom, accompanied by some splashing. I charge in just in time to see Squeeker attempting to bail water out of the toilet with the potty. DemonChild is laughing his skinny ass off. The only one not amused is Mommy.

….

For the record, they never pull this crap when their dad is around. I feel special, and not in a good way :-)

I took a day off, because ye olde eyes were not staying open. Only reason BelovedSpouse went to work is because he stayed home sick yesterday.

Oh, and right on cue, I hear Squeeker starting to cry (and so are the neighbors, I am sure, the kid does not waste time building up to a good cry, he goes from whimper to ear-splitting in less than 10 seconds. I timed it.). Sleep, who the hell needs it?

At any rate, for the last week or so Squeeker has been sleeping with us. Wouldn’t be a bad thing, except he keeps trying to crawl away and explore in the middle of the night, necessitating very light sleep from me, so that I can catch him before he makes a head-first dive off the bed. Also, when he is awake and ready to play, he head-butts unsuspecting sleeping us in the face, which is extremely painful, and not conducive to being loving parents.

Because we often don’t latch the gate after screaming Squeeker removal, sometimes DemonChild wanders in to join us. The other night, I was dreaming we had a dog who was touching me on the hand with its wet nose, only to wake up and realize it was DemonChild’s cold nose. He was snuggling to my hand in preparation to climbing in. Good thing we have a king-size bed, I guess ;P