Weasel Of Doom

So, yesterday I discovered that the Saturn’s breaks were frozen AGAIN (guess that’s what happens when your car is not driven for a month and left to sit outside). Called the tow truck, had it towed to the dealership, asked for a trade-in quote. Was hoping for $4,500. Was offered $3,000 because according to them the car is basically worthless – breaks need replacing, there is rust on the engine, etc, etc. (Yeah, right. I don’t believe them for a moment, but it’s not like I have any choices when I can’t get the car out of their lot without forking out more money, now do I?) We finally agreed on $3,500. I will pick up the check today. Oh well, our own damn fault.

Not sure how long the game will go, so here’s a short post, just in case we won’t get home until after midnight….

Well, so far this week is sucking. Every night for the past week, Squeeker has been waking up and screaming at two-hour intervals. I am drinking two pots of coffee a day at work (8 cups) just to keep my eyes open. He is still congested, but thankfully he does not have a fever anymore.

I had a very very frustrating meeting at work on Tuesday. The kind of frustrating that makes you want to quit. I hate it when people treat you nice in person-to-person conversations but screw you over in work situations. I also hate it when people use words like “best practices,” “work flow,” and “understanding the process” when the process in question involves only two people. And for the last time, our problem is not the process, it’s the fact that nobody gives a damn and wants to give us information.

Today I spent over an hour trying to convince my boss that the best way to be proactive is to ask people what they want, instead of suggesting the many ways in which they can do their jobs better. I wish I was sure he got the message.

BelovedSpouse is putting the kids in the car, so I better finish this. Coming tomorrow: Changing (car) light bulbs for dummies :-)

Today is one of those “feather that broke the camel’s back” days.

• Squeeker is sick. We are taking him to see the doctor today, and if MIL cannot watch him tomorrow, I will have to stay home.

• BelovedSpouse and I are both not feeling well, and haven’t all weekend.

• Work is making me want to scream in frustration:

  • Boss growing a spine and some balls? Not happening.
  • Expectations? We like those targets to be moving, preferably without warning.
  • Try to do a good turn to somebody? It will turn around and bite you in the ass. Guaranteed.
  • Communication? We don’t to it here. We would rather ambush people and stab them in the back. So much more Christian that way.
  • Taking responsibility? Is that a word? Not in our dictionary.
  • Clusterfuck? Yeah, that sounds right.

• And there is still nine hours to go in the day. Can’t wait to see what other shit is going to happen.

• Our old dryer was priced at $700, and we bought it at a scratch-and-dent store for $400. Our new dryer cost $350. I can tell the difference :-)

• I’ve got to stop assuming that if we contract somebody to do work for the website, they will deliver code I can cut and paste and be done with. Intergration is a pain in the ass, and everybody wants it to be for my ass only.

• It WILL take twice as long to get to work on a day when there is an important meeting at an ungodly hour of the morning. Took 40 minutes instead of 20 today. Did I miss the meeting? Hell yeah.

• Never underestimate the ability of christian coworkers to backstab someone who is not christian enough for them. Reason number one I don’t go to church anymore – other christians.

• We are thinking of buying a used minivan. God help us.

• I wish I did not feel like a failure all the time.

In the past week, we charged:

• $2,000 (San Diego trip for six in January, when my parents come to visit)
• $1,200 (Dell laptop for me, since my PC is making scary noises)
• $350 (new dryer, since the old one died)

Thank god for credit cards and home equity lines of credit to pay the credit cards, that’s all I have to say.

*sigh*

(had this sitting around as a draft for a couple of months now; past time to release it into the wild)

• “When you pick up DemonChild, ask if he has been rough housing more than normal today? Don’t mention video games or Hulk if possible.” [I guess if he starts stomping on other kids and saying "Hulk Smash," we will know something is amiss]

• “so far, we decided that I suffer from ED (Extreme Directness) and that
  we need a Snuggle Room.” [why yes, it is hard for me to take team-building exercises seriously]

• “Time to go fly the cow.” [trust me, you are better off not knowing]

something happens to remind me that, in reality, they are getting worse.

I had a talk with my boss today. It started with a phone call, during which I was logical and professional, and he repeatedly told me that I should not be so emotional. It ended in the conference room, with me saying, “Can you forget for a moment that I am a woman and listen to me as if I was one of the guys?” A talk that at one point involved him stating “Am I hearing you correctly that you are saying either only you do [certain part of job] or you won’t do it at all?” Underneath, the subtext was clear – say yes, and there will be trouble. I said “yes.” Then I tried to explain, for 15 minutes, why it is not a good idea to have more than one person doing that particular job. I reiterated that it is not the case of me not wanting to give up power, but instead a case of a job that should not be done by multiple people. I illustrated what can go wrong if the right hand won’t know what the left hand is doing. Waste of breath, as usual. My boss is currently “withholding judgement.”

So, what do I do? Do I hope that things will change this year? Pray for a management shake-up? Lay low? Resign in a blaze of glory? If the situation was like this 3 years ago, I would have left without a thought. But now it is not just me. Reality is that in the last 10 years my professional growth has been virtually non-existant. Reality is that I don’t want to lose my 3 weeks of vacation and generous sick time. Reality is that not many places will be as flexible and understanding. Reality is that I used to like going to work, and now I hate it. Reality is that I still love what I do, and that I am trapped.

Yesterday was E.’s last day at work. She is entering the exciting world of freelancing. Before leaving, she “promoted” me:

“Chief Priestess of the domain. Thou shalt smite those unworthy websites that gnaw at the underbelly of our holy site.”

Two E. quotes to go:

• “Send me the assless track photo when you get a chance”

• “I think we should all start writing e-mails in 1. the third person and 2. like we’re from an Arthurian legend.”

Good luck, E. Without you here, it’s a lot less fun.

I left the milk in a refrigerator in my office, knowing that I had a lot of running around to do in the evening, and not wanting to risk the milk spoiling. The plan was to pick it up on the way home. Good plan, as plans go. Unfortunately, it did not take into account that my access card will not work. I could not get into the building. Parking structure – sure, be my guest. The actual building where I work – access denied. So tomorrow (well, later today, since it is almost 1:00 am as I write this) I have to drive to work, get the milk, drive back home, wash the bottles and pump parts, drive to daycare to drop off the milk, and drive back to work. Forgive me for not being excited about having to deal with rush hour traffic twice. Grrr. I am in a snarly mood now.

Work has been less than inspiring lately, as evidenced by exhibits below:

1. [email from husband] “I hope your day is going well. Did anyone else quit or get fired today?”

2. [from uber boss, cc'ed to under-bosses, after I screwed up and did not submit a survey on time]“I don’t like receiving these kinds of notes. What’s up?” [followed by a groveling email to the survey people and total silence from the under-bosses. It took me all of half an hour to get the survey done and submitted. It does not seem like much now, but at the time it happened, I almost quit on the spot.]

3. [from an email about early move-in policies]“There is no early move in just for convenience or a less expensive flight.” [you pay $25K a year to come here, so SUCK IT UP. yeah. feel the love.]

Somebody I liked a lot was fired last week. Oh, the official line is that he resigned, but that’s total bullshit, seeing as we all know his manager was out to get him. And now the lying about it will begin. And the worst thing is that we have nobody to go to, and noone will tell us the truth about what is going on.

Our current leadership has their head shoved up their collective ass. Tunnel vision redefined. We are facing a budget shortfall, for a third year in a row. So, to save money, they decided to cut our benefits (starting next year, I will pay $2,000 more for insurance. And max out of pocket is going up by $3,000. 401-k matching has been reduced to 3%). To save a measly $200,000 a year. We have a budget of over $20,000,000 a year. The increase from this year to next is almost $2,000,000. You do the math. So now we are paid below industry wage and our benefits suck. Wonder how many people have started to look for new jobs.

Plus, I am horribly behind on everything. And it is getting harder and harder to even pretend that I care. I think my new approach is going to be “Tying up all loose ends as if I am leaving.” God knows, I should probably start looking. *sigh*

And on this note, may I recommend Despair.com for all your demotivator needs? If only they made a t-shirt with “The floggings will continue until morale improves.” I would go into debt to get them for everybody at work.

Apparently, the only difference between working for a secular organization and a Christian one is that here people stab each other in the back in the name of Jesus. That, and use God as an excuse whenever convenient.

When the LORD commences His smiting, I hope to be there to watch.

Former boss: “If I could fire all of you and start over, I would.”

If we only knew what a psycho bitch you would turn out to be, lady, we would have gone away on our own.