Weasel Of Doom

• Pick up all three kids from daycare – check
• Feed kids cereal for dinner – check
• Unload and reload the dishwasher – check
• Get YoungestOne to gymnastics only 15 minutes late – check
• Force OldestOne to read during YoungestOne’s class- check
• Give all three kids haircuts – check
• Herd kids upstairs to take a bath – check
• (start drinking Seagram’s Escapes “Wild Berries” malt beverage with natural & artificial flavors and certified colors)
• Hang up kids clothes while they are fighting each other in the tub – check
• Wash kids – check
• Get kids into their beds an hour AFTER their bed time – check
• Unload and reload the dishwasher again – check
• (finish drinking Seagram’s Escapes)
• Take lights and decorations off the Christmas tree and drag Christmas tree outside – check
• Go through kids’ toys and decide which ones get banished to the basement – check
• Organize remaining toys and vacuum great room – check
• Shower – check
• Get to bed before midnight – total fail

Somebody searched my blog for this. Also for “god i need a job that pays good or i need to win the lottery.”

To my unknown depressed and poor brethren and sistren – hang in there…

From a conversation with my cousin this morning:

HER: Is your Christmas tree up yet?
ME: Nope.
HER: Christmas is in like two weeks!
ME: On the 25th. Today is the 4th. So, three weeks.
HER: Well, when do you usually put you tree up?
ME: One year, it was on January 1st.
HER: …That’s pretty much all I needed to know. Please say no more…

I was reading in bed a few nights ago. Suddenly, OldestOne started talking:

“One sheep… Two sheep… Eight sheep… A thousand sheep..”

I giggled very quietly.

MiddleOne brought a note from school. Apparently, on Monday he got into trouble for pulling down his pants in class (and the note he brought home said that this is inappropriate behavior. Well duh. We would have never known that’s NOT what you do in public, otherwise). Then on Tuesday, he got in trouble again for yelling across the classroom to his friend (during class).

BelovedSpouse and I both talked to him about appropriate behavior, and things he should not do.

MiddleOne, sadly: “But it’s so hard to be good….”

Yesterday, UncleMel was telling the boys how one of his students accidentally wrote theta (θ) instead of phi (φ) in a formula (yes, the world of higher math is full of excitement and dangerous Greek letters).

What did my two delinquents want to know? How to spell “poop” in Greek.

I think it’s time to abandon all hope.

This morning during our “how many times can we hit the snooze button before dragging ourselves out of bed” time, OldestOne asked if we can play the Alphabet game. I am all for educational games, so we started playing. I can’t remember what they came up with for “A,” but I think we got “B” covered:

MiddleOne: “Boob!”
OldestOne: “Butt!”
YongestOne: “Boob! Butt!”

Yup, they are boys.

My children believe in taking their bath with as many toys as possible. Among the toys are foam letters and numbers. The kids have been using them mostly as chew toys, but lately all three delight in putting random letters and numbers together and asking me to read them out loud.

Fortunately for me, I am really good at pronouncing XLZYN and SN2VA7W. The kids think it’s the funniest thing ever. I am glad they are easily amused :)

Last week, I called my doctor to see if she would be willing to up my anti-depressants dose, because it seems like 20 mg are not doing it anymore. Even though it turns out that my doctor won’t be back at the office until December. Fortunately, she keeps in touch with the office, and OK’ed switching me to a higher dose.

Incidentally, a three-month prescription for generics at Target is $10, vs. $4 for monthly prescription. I saved $2 :)

We’ll see in a couple weeks if a higher dose will make me function better. Fingers crossed.

[the post has been back-dated, since I fell asleep last night before posting

YoungestOne and I went to Target today, to pick up exciting things like swim diapers, scrub pads, and dishwasher gel packs.

YoungestOne, looking at the red balls at the front: “Mommy, these are big! As big as your butt!”

And I have nothing to say. For your amusement, here are some search queries that landed people on my blog, with my comments in parentheses:

• obey the weasel of doom (my all-time favorite)
• lukeskywalkeroatmealbutterscotchcookies (space bar is your friend)
• diapered weasel (not even going to go there)
• naked bath boys (this one is worrisome)
• weasel+recipe (beggars, choosers)
• ass mode help (sorry, can’t help there)
• my boss is a weasel (I feel your pain)
• “you’ve really ballooned” (you have my permission to punch whoever said it)
• “stab stabbity” (amen, sister)

Fifteen years ago, if somebody told me that there will come a time when the highlight of my day will be sniffing cheap shampoo at Wal-Mart, I would have laughed them out of the room.

Today, let me tell you that Suave’s “Mango Mandarin” and “Aloe & Waterlily” smell very nice, and you can get a family size bottle for only $1.47.

MiddleOne, in the bath: “Mommy, can you not brush my hair after the bath tonight? I want to look like a rock star tomorrow!” YoungestOne, screaming at the top of his lungs, “I want to be a rock, too!”

BelovedSpouse and I were goofing off while putting kids to bed. At one point, Spouse held me captive, and I called upon my children to help. BelovedSpouse, of course, told them not to. And then, because we are mean that way, he asked The Question: “Who are you going to believe, Mommy or me?” After a few seconds, OldestOne replied, “Neither one of you.”

They are onto us.

In a fit of insanity, I signed up for a six-week Body Basics Pump class.

Pump up your weekends with Body Basics Pump! Set to motivating music, this group strength-training class is designed to work your whole body using barbells and weights. Suited for all ages and ability levels, not only will participants get a great workout, but correct lifting form and proper stretching technique will be reviewed.

This post brought to you by my very sore muscles :) Also, I suck at working out.